October 10, 2004

The Bush "earpiece"

There are some people claiming that Bush wore an earpiece during the first debate. They claim that someone was feeding responses to him over his earpiece.

But what people don’t realize is Bush doesn’t use an earpiece. Rove had a surgical implant done into Bush’s brain. It’s pretty leading edge stuff. But during the first debate, the timing lights caused interference and generated what can best be described as a brain re-boot. That’s why Bush paused so much. He had to wait for his brain to come back on line.

During the second debate, they pretty much worked out most of the kinks in the system.

During the third debate they expect to have the entire Library of Congress online with hyperlinks and voice recognition software. When either Kerry or the moderator speaks, the software will automatically scan the Library of Congress as well as Google the internet. Then by just blinking his right eye Bush can view the appropriate response projected onto the back of his eye ball. If he blinks his left eye, he will instead “hear” the response hot-wired into the auditory nerve.

Watch which eye he blinks in the next debate and you can figure out which way he’s getting the responses.

Posted by Ted at October 10, 2004 9:27 PM