Today was not as good as yesterday. I’m tired and hurting. I’m ready for bed. I need to decide what my next treatment should be.
I’m a little disappointed that I’m not bouncing back more quickly.
My meeting with my oncologists was disappointing. When he told me we were about at the end of the line, I told him that was the wrong answer.
Danny Boy has recently had a couple of “accidents.” The Vorlon Wife has gone back to the doggie training manual.
In spite of my disappointing meeting this morning, I still feel stronger than yesterday.
As for now I’m ready for bed.
I saw the oncologist this morning and he was not encouraging. He recommended two forms of a drug. One is an oral form and the other is delivered through an IV. As I think about it, I don’t see much difference between them. I have called a doctor friend to see if there is any other oncologist I should call.
We have noticed that when we go to bed Danny Boy looks up at the ceiling. We thought he was looking up at a bug. Last night we figured it our. He was looking at shadows from the nightstands. He is a silly dog.
I went to the office today and they on to a client site after lunch. On the way home I threw up. It only lasted for a brief time and then I was good to go.
I’m tired now, so good night.
Another family member has taken up blogging. It is the Vorlon brother-in-law. I have added his site to my blogroll. Here’s the link. I just need to find the RSS feed for it and better follow his postings.
I stayed home today and rested. Sometimes it seems that rest is all I do anymore. I’m doing my exercises.
Thursday should be the last time I’ll see my physical therapist and visiting nurse. My next chemo treatment is a week from this Friday.
I was just too tired to post anything last night.
Right now Danny is on the sofa between the Vorlon wife and me. She is petting him. As I look at him he looks at her with complete adoration. I wonder if God wants us to think of our relationship with him as a dog’s relationship with us as.
God is smarter and more powerful than us just as we are smarter and more powerful than dogs.
I’m too tired to figure it out right now.
Good night and Merry Christmas.
I spent most of today resting. This afternoon the pastor came by to visit. I was concerned about Danny being friendly towards him. Danny was barking like he wanted to take the pastor’s leg off.
When he was close enough, the pastor just grabbed the dog. At that instant Danny quieted down. I was afraid Danny was going to sink his teeth into the Pastor’s hand. Instead he let the pastor hold him and seemed to enjoy the experience. He didn’t bark one time more, while he was here. My dog book says to give the dog more room to make him less aggressive.
I was very pleasantly surprised.
I’m off to bed.
My chemo treatment has been moved back to next Friday. They want me to take Vitamin B12 and Folic acid to prepare for this new chemical regime.
This morning I was washing up in the bathroom, when the Vorlon Wife noticed the cat Danny dislikes so much. The Vorlon Wife held him up to the window. He started barking. We had a chuckle over his barking through the window.
Early on with having Danny we discovered to leave him alone, when he is sleeping. When we got up in the middle of the night, he looked like a dead dog. At first we petted him to make sure he was indeed alive. Then he would start to wag his tail. We figured that dead dogs don’t wag their tails. In addition, he’s start to lick us. We now leave sleeping dogs lie.
The Vorlon Wife took Danny to get chipped today. I went to their web site and put in my address information. Now, if he gets away and is captured by an animal control agency, they can read his chip and get his address.
Tomorrow I’m scheduled for a chemo treatment, but I’m unsure what they plan to do.
In the meantime the Vorlon Assistant sends this link.
My physical therapist brought me a cane today. And then he gave me lessons on to use it and made sure it was the right size for me. He also said I should only use it when someone was around in case I fell. That means I haven’t seen it since he left.
Now I hurt, so I will take my pain meds and go to bed.
I got the results of my CT scan and MRI. The CT scan is not encouraging. I’ll post the report tomorrow. I’m just too tired right now.
I had two sessions of severe nausea today. Fortunately the nausea passes quickly after I get done throwing up and I can even eat – go figure.
I know this is getting boring, but I’m off to bed.
It was a busy day today. I got my Neupogen shot at 8:30; the physical therapist came by at 9:3o and the visiting nurse at 11:30. I did a tiny bit of work in the afternoon and they I just ran out of gas.
Now I’m going to take my painkiller and go to bed.
It seemed like a busy day today. First, I went to the oncology clinic to get my Neupogen shot, then to the hospital for another unit of red cells. Then I came home for a brief throw-up sessions (dry heaves). After that, I had lunch and off to the radiology lab for a CT scan and an MRI.
I don’t know why I’m throwing up so much these days. I’ve learned to have a small plastic container nearby at all time as the nausea comes on like a lightning bolt out of the blue. I’ve found that when you feel nauseas, actually throwing up brings a certain amount of relief. Once the nausea is past, I’m good to go again.
Now I’m off to bed.
I spent most of today resting on the sofa. Just before supper my stomach went bad and had a few dry heaves. As soon as this little session was over I ate supper without any complaints. Everything went down well. I was thankful I did my upchucking BEFORE supper instead of after.
Danny has picked up a new behavior. He started barking at the TV.
The Vorlon Wife gave him a bath this morning. Although he didn’t complain, I don’t think he was happy about the bath. But immediately afterward, he zoomed around the house like a ball in a pinball machine.
I’m off to bed.
Today was a bit better than yesterday. I think the blood transfusion helped.
The pastor from the church stopped by. I know people want to give support by visiting me, but some times I just rather rest.
I found out today that our next door neighbor has MS. He is only about 35 years old. Although we are not close, they are good neighbors.
As for now, I’m going crawl up the stairs, take my pain killer and go to bed.
I did not get chemo’d today. It turns out me blood counts were too low. I wound up in the hospital again only as an outpatient getting a unit of red cells. On Monday, I go back for another unit of red cells.
I’m feeling very tired tonight. Going up the stairs tonight was not easy and I would not have made it would the Vorlon Wife’s help.
Now I’m off to bed and wish a fine good night.
I stayed home today. I barely had the strength to get my Neupogen shot this morning. I spent a good deal of my time napping. I’m starting to hurt and am taking some pain killer in the hopes of being able to get a good night’s sleep.
Danny Boy is taking to liking to have his stomach rubbed. This is a somewhat new behavior. If he feels you aren’t doing a good enough job, he wiggles around to better expose his belly.
I think it shows confidence in us and perhaps his stitches are well healed and no longer sensitive.
I’m still concerned that he is not better socialized. He barks at strangers to the house. Right now we lock him away until they go.
The physical therapist, whose name is Danny, stopped by gave some more exercises to do.
Now I’m off to bed as soon as the Vorlon Wife returns from choir practice.
The choir wanted to stop by and sing some Christmas carols to me. While I appreciate the sentiment, I just want to go to bed.
A small victory tonight. I made it up the stairs to the second story of the house. I’ll stay here until morning.
Although I made it to the office, I came home shortly after lunch. I wish I had more to say, but all I can say is good night.
At much physical cost I am IN the office today. My stomach is not happy, but I’ve asked the Vorlon Wife to get me some more ginger pills. They seem to help settle my stomach and are a lot cheaper than the Kytrils – although the Kytrils seem a bit more effective. I expect I will bail in the early afternoon.
I think that today was a bit better than yesterday. I’m getting some pain in my back. I miss the Dilaudid they gave me in the hospital. I will tell you, when I had pain they would give me 1 mg of the drug through the IV. Within 30 seconds of the injection all pain would be gone and I would be ready for sleep. I would just say to the nurse, “Please shut off my lights and close the door. Good night.” Then I was off to one of my best nights of sleep.
Tonight I’m going to rely on some sort of pain killer as I’m experiencing some pain. Pain will really set you back on your sleep.
Today I had a few minutes of feeling good and then it was gone. A physical therapist stopped by and gave me some exercises to practice.
My taste buds are making a recovery – slowly.
I’m just having a hard time coming up with the energy. It seems all I want to do is sleep. Today I went through a disappointment session. For a while was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Now I’m just ready for bed.
I’m recovering from my two-weeks in the local hospital while I also recover from Friday’s chemo treatment. My stomach is not happy, but I’m gobbling down my ginger pills to keep it quiescent. I’m feeling quite tired, but I THINK I recovering from my chemo a bit better than before.
My walking is getting a bit better. I can now generally get myself from a sitting to a standing position in one try and without assistance. Going up stairs are still a challenge. I have realized that when you go up stairs, on each step you raise your whole body on one leg at each step.
I have yet to be upstairs in the house. I just don’t have the strength to go up the stairs. Hopefully that will change soon.
I will tell you, two weeks in the hospital will severely reduce your physical abilities.
I continue to count myself lucky to have the Vorlon Wife. She takes better care of me that I deserve.
Now, I’m off to bed.
Danny Boy had him first accident today. I guess we didn’t him outside quickly enough. Fortunately he chose to have his accident in the downstairs bathroom on a linoleum floor directly in front of the toilet. It looks like he got as close as he could. It took 10 seconds to clean up.
Upstairs he had diarrhea on one of the area rugs. I blame that on the Vorlon Wife. She gave him some of the fish off her plate and I think it upset him.
This afternoon Danny received gifts from his far distant cousins Brandi and Cheyenne Orrell in Maryland.
Danny says, “Thank you.”
I’m afraid I just laid around the house today. They had a traveling nurse stop by today and she seemed to think I was doing well.
I got a prescription to the pain killer they gave me in the hospital. Except in the hospital they gave me a 1mg dose through my IV. For home use they gave me a 2mg tablets. I took one last night and its not they same as the 1mg through the IV. Through the IV I can feel the effects 30 seconds after they inject me.
Last night I took one and did not get the same kick as I get from IV injection. I rather liked the relaxing effect the Dilaudid gave me. I was out to sleep very quickly.
Now I’m off to bed.
If you’ve been reading today I think you’ll see how my day has been going. My chemo treatment was uneventful – except they now use the mediport instead of search for a vein in my arm or back of the hand.
The chemo load today was the full load. I’m trying to get Neupogen shots for Monday through Thursday of next week, and they’re giving me some resistance. They seem to have forgotten who they are dealing with. Although part of the mix is the nurse I used to go to for things like this has left so I’m dealing with somewhat untrained personnel. I’m going to have to train them.
I guess I’m going to have to do some digging on how to heat myself up.
My friend Dr. Dave has suggested I look into the special suits that wrestlers use to sweat off pounds so they can compete in the next class down. That sounds like a possible solution to my heating failure. So far, however, my brief scan of the net has yielded nothing.
Danny Boy has picked up some new names – from his physical appearance. In addition to Danny, Danny Boy, Danno and Little Guy we not sometimes call him Fur Ball (he’s getting really furry) and rag-a-muffin. Although I’d like to get him trimmed up, will the cold weather upon us, I don’t want to take away is insulation when he goes outside.
The Vorlon Wife said she was walking him today and the wind really picked up. She said that Danny briefly went into his shake mode. She said it seemed to make all his hair stand on end, giving him a warm blanket against the cold.
My hyperthermia test is over and I have failed.
We used a queen sized electric blanket. I laid on one half and the other half was draped over me. Then blankets were piled on as the electric blanket was turned on high. I felt like I was in a giant Panini sandwich press.
After more that two hours of heating, I gave it up. I measured my temperature using an oral thermometer and never raised my temperature more than half a degree F, if that. I also recorded my blood pressure every half hour. It stayed normal all the time.
I don’t know where my body got the coolness to keep my body temperature normal.
Today was a down day. I took a long nap in the morning and a long nap in the afternoon. I’m disappointed that I’m so tired and tomorrow is a full chemo day.
Danny seems to be adjusting to my presence well. Last night, he slept on the bed with us. But sometimes he goes upstairs and jumps on to our bed to get some undisturbed sleep. It makes me chuckle.
As soon as I get home tomorrow I’m going to try the hyperthermia. I expect that will not be pleasant, but we’ll give it a try.
I still smell that darn nebulizer and my stomach is not happy.
I’m feeling pretty tired and am off to bed. The Vorlon Wife has opened the sofa bed up so I don’t have to deal with the steps to the bedroom. I think I’ll soon be out like a light.
As soon as I sat in Blue Velvet I felt the difference.
I had forgotten all about Christmas.
The Vorlon Wife had Christmas Carols playing on the radio. What a pleasant surprise. I feel a little like Rip Van Winkle having awaked from a very long nap. Many houses are decorated with brightly colored lights. It was dark when we left the hospital, so the decorated houses seemed particularly colorful. Between the music and the decorations, it was a most pleasant surprise.
Although Danny seemed happy to see me, he also seemed a bit confused. I think that’s understandable as we only lived together a bit over three weeks before I disappeared from his life. Right now I think he’s trying to figure it all out. He rolled over onto his back for me, so he knows his place in the pecking order
I can smell the hospital on me. I can’t imagine what he smells.
My little Danny Boy has turned into a fur ball. He needs a trip to the groomer soon.
Right now, it’s just good to be home.
I just got my marching orders. They’re letting me out of jail. Very shortly I’ll be free at last, free at last.
I’m feeling quite well this morning. In fact, I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in several days. But I’m a morning person. This afternoon my not be quite so gracious to me.
I called and spoke to my doctor friend and he thought I sounded the best he’s heard me in several days. When I talk I find I don’t develop an oxygen debt. I wonder if it’s because I’m further from my last chemo treatment or from the operation on my lung.
Either way I feel ready to go home.
I’ve had a bunch of people listen to my chest and they all say, “Sounds good.” I have found that to be a very unsatisfactory answer. I would like to have the doctor use a stethoscope that has a built in microphone. Then, when they listen to my lungs we can record the sound on the computer. Then I can compare how I sound now to how I sounded a month ago.
Maybe I should get my own stethoscope and I could listen to myself. I wonder if that works.
Although it’s been an exciting day, I’m still here. I had a real bout with constipation and it was no fun.
First we tried various oral remedies and they proved inadequate to the problem. Then we tried a suppository and that didn’t help. Finally two nurses donned the rubber gloves and started spelunking for gold while I bellowed with pain. Bless their hearts they did for me what I could NOT do for someone else.
The seemed to take it in stride. I heard comment like, “Wow! Did you see that one? I think it could replace Grand Cooley Dam.” Then I heard, “Ha! Here’s one that could staunch the flow of the Mississippi River.” OK, so they didn’t exactly make those comments, it makes for light comedy about something we’d rather not talk about.
Then they finished by giving me an enema and I’m still dealing with the aftereffects of that. At least now I can say that I’m not full of it.
I got an email from the building manager at my office. Danny is not allowed any more. They are afraid if someone is injured, they may be legally responsible.
I’m a little sadder, but I understand.
UPDATE: The Nurses said I should stay away from BRAT foods as they tend to constipate you. That would be bananas, rice, apples and tea.
I’m still here. They haven’t sent me home because I don’t walk too well. Part of that is due to deconditioning and part is due to the numbness from the chemo in my feet.
I’ve gotten lots of nice comment phone calls from those that have seen the article in the paper.
Other than that there isn’t much else to report. I’m having some arguments with various parts of my body that I hope will soon correct themselves.
I see they posted my interview with the local paper this morning. Click here to read the article they wrote about me.
I had a real good barf this afternoon. The surgeon came in to chat. We talked just a minute or so, when I turned to the Vorlon Wife and said, “Karol, barf bucket now!” There was urgency in my voice as I needed it NOW. In no time at all I had emptied today’s consumption into a small rectangular plastic basin.
The surgeon said something else that I didn’t catch and left the room. We called the nurse’s station. The nurse asked where he went. I told her I started to throw up and he left the room. But I think he’s going to send me home tomorrow.
The nurse put something in my arm for nausea. I'm also going to stop with the nebulizer. It's messing up my takes buds and now this. Of course I haven't had any pain medication today. I wonder if it could be withdrawl symptoms from the pain medication. L'll ask the nurse.
I think it’s good for dogs that they are not smarter. The Vorlon wife says the Vorlon Dog looks really sad, when she has to leave him home alone.
And why shouldn’t he? He doesn’t know if someone is coming for him in an hour, two weeks or two years. Fortunately for them dogs don’t have the mental strength to look that far into the future.
The Vorlon wife related a story with Danny Boy last week. She was at the office and getting frustrated in tiring unsuccessfully to enter something into the computer. Danny kept wanting to jump up into her lap and barked at her. Finally she could take it no more and yelled, “DANNY! GO LAY DOWN!.”
She said the expression on his face just about broke her heart in two. This is how you make nasty dogs, nasty children and nasty spouses. We become frustrated and nasty and take out on this closest to us.
The question is, how do respond in a constructive way.
Here’s my suggestion – at least for dogs. Dogs have very short attention spans. I suspect, I wasn’t there, that Danny was briefly feeling unloved. Perhaps he felt that way because he sensed the Vorlon Wife’s mounting frustration.
He just needed some love. Perhaps if she just picked him up and hugged him for 10 to 15 seconds and then set back on the floor while saying, “There,there Danny. I love you. Now go along and let me get this done.” All the time smiling and speaking in a pleasant tone of voice. He would get confident from the scene and go relax. One may have to repeat the process severeal times.
If however, you have a very under confident dog, it may take several repetitions for this lesson to take effect.. Dogs should be confident enough to go off by themselves.
Punishment works poorly on dogs and even less well on people.
I guess you could say that is Vorlon Dog philosophy for today.
The surgeon came by today and yanked the chest tube. It only took a few minutes and was a bit exciting as it DID hurt a bit. This afternoon the wound started to weep. We’ll see if that keeps up. I’m glad it happened while I was IN the hospital. Had it happened at home I wouldn’t have known what to do. They expect to release me Monday.
They say they want me to move around and start walking again – just when I was starting to get comfortable.
I was sleeping this afternoon and it was very weird. I have not seen, in their entirety the matrix movies. But have seen a lot of snippets. I felt like I was in the middle of a matrix movie. Bad things were happening to me and I was twitching all over the bed as the happened. I was like I was having a bad dream, but knew it, but experienced the whole thing even though I knew it was dream.
All I can say is, it was weird, very weird.
Yesterday was not too bad. I had pain from time to time, but I slept pretty well.
My interview was a bit confusing. It turns out the hospital had to have their public relations there. It further turns out the public relations guy and the photographer sent along with the reporter go way back together.
Then my surgeon stopped by. I think we had about three conversations going on at the same time. Normally he comes by says about 25 words and is gone. This time was different. I think I could almost hear his brain working. “Wait a minutes. This isn’t normal. Something’s going on.
The poor reporter. My hearing on a good day is not the best. She had to repeat almost all her questions to me. I was a little disappointed. I didn’t sound like she knew much about blogging in general or had read much of my blog in particular. The Vorlon Wife expressed a similar feeling.
But I got my stealth shaft into the IT department. I told the PR guy about my frustrations of working with the IT department and asked if he could improve the situation. He said he would look into it.
I don’t expect much to happen, but I CAN muster a little clout, when I need it
I’ve been trying to get solid food for two days now. This morning, the stand-in for my lung guy came by to listen to my chest.
I asked him, “Do you have any control over what I eat.” He said he did. I then asked him to put me on solid food. He said he would do that. As soon as he left, I paged the nurse. I told her he had just put me back on solid food and I’d like to see a menu. For lunch I’m having the open-face sandwich with gravy, potatoes chowder and mandarin orange slices.
They finally let the Vorlon wife and here she is now.